Delusia's Blog

Newmarket

delusia — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:51:02 +0000

Newmarket is a nice town abutting a college town. I’m going to look at a two bedroom apartment there tomorrow. The first month’s rent is free, so I would be able to move immediately.

Planning to Move

delusia — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:11:38 +0000

My parents have made it clear that living here is a temporary situation. I don’t really want to live with my parents at age 31. I plan to move to either Dover or Portsmouth. I could afford a bigger place in Dover and it would be closer to work, but I adore Portsmouth. I never wanted to move from there, and it has lots of great places to take the kids.

New Job

delusia — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:08:03 +0000

I’ve been sleeping during the day this week and I haven’t left the house much, because I’ve been depressed about being separated from the children. I still managed to get a full time job though. I will be a login associate at Measured Progress in Dover, a company that does standardized testing for students. It is a low stress job making sure that paperwork is in order. I start Monday. The hours are 7:30 – 3:30, so I will be home in time to see the kids before dinner. I’m very excited!

Harder Than I Thought

delusia — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:51:15 +0000

I’ve been incredibly depressed today. I keep going back to bed. Marco was up until midnight last night crying for me and he cried again this morning until I saw him. The separation is just as difficult for me.

Goodbye Aleister

delusia — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:38:30 +0000

I love Aleister dearly, but I decided that I need to focus on my children rather than romance. The only way to do this was to make a clean break. We parted amicably.

Visiting My Parents

delusia — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:36:12 +0000

Marcus and I decided that it would be best if I visit my parents for awhile. They have a gorgeous apartment above their garage, perfect for guests. I only brought clothes and some of my decorations (I like to have pretty things to look at.). I’m feeling very happy.

Stuck On Two Points

delusia — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:45:41 +0000

Marcus and I are thinking about reconciling, but I’m stuck on two points. He said that he will always be in charge of me and that my transgression makes him want to tell me what to do twice as much. He said that I can still expect him to express his anger physically, though he wouldn’t hit me. He said that something like putting his hands around my neck and squeezing would be okay and that pushing me is no big deal.

Just Talk

delusia — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:42:18 +0000

I’m afraid that I gave the impression that Aleister and I are having a physical affair, but we really just talk. He thinks it’s unethical for us to be together in that way while I’m still married.

Update On the Children

delusia — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:37:13 +0000

My husband insisted on putting my son in daycare after school. I am unhappy with this decision but it is a very nice facility and he seemed happy when I picked him up yesterday.

My daughter and I had a rough night. I was in a very bad mood and I snapped at her because she opened the front door while I was smoking a cigarette and my son came charging out into the rain. She cried and said that I don’t love her. We had an excellent morning to make up for it. I made up a new song for her to help her get ready.

My Husband Read My Email

delusia — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:30:13 +0000

I have about 500 messages from Aleister in my inbox. I hate to delete his words. My husband somehow got into my email and read our messages. I am very upset about this invasion of privacy.